Jack and the Beanstalk

Dear Reader,

I don’t know why but lately different stories that were told to me as a child have been popping up in my head. I did have some unique stories that were told to me growing up. Stories about my grandpa’s family in Mexico, stories of my mom’s family in wild Florida, and stories of my dad’s adventures as a cowboy. But I was also raised with the folk tales and fairy tales that most American children are raised with. I loved to hear about princesses and brave knights. And how monsters and tricky Fey were outsmarted. As an adult I look back fondly on these stories, but as a rancher I tend to analyze these stories differently.

A Rancher’s Analysis of Jack and the Beanstalk.

Jack and his mother are very poor, but they have a cow. This is very relatable. Most ranchers would sell almost anything before they sold out their cows. But alas they are too poor to hang onto their cow and Jack has to take it to the market. So, in the morning Jack puts on old Bessie’s halter and takes her to the neighboring village. Many a rancher has had to make that last trip to the market with their last load of cattle in the hopes of keeping land so that they can regrow their herd again, or in the very least keep a roof over their children’s head.

Along the way Jack meets an old man who offers to buy his cow for three magic beans. As a child I thought that Jack was the wisest man in the world for selling his cow for three magic beans, because magic was exactly what he needed. But as I got older, I decided that Jack was rather dumb and gullible. Maybe he was, maybe he wasn’t, but he was willing to take a chance on anything to help get him and his mom out of a bind. When ranchers are at the point of selling cattle, they are desperate and willing to try anything to keep their way of life.

So Jack takes the deal of the old man with the three magic beans and happily skips home to his mother. When he proudly presents the magic beans to her, she gets upset with him, saying that they aren’t even enough to make a meal for the two of them and throws them out the window. I always thought that Jack’s mom over reacted, but now I am not so sure. He didn’t even get close to market value for his cattle, let alone a fair price. If not receiving a good price for cattle has stressed out a rancher, it has given ulcers to the rancher’s wife. She is the one who has to make the money stretch at the grocery store, the shoe store, the clothing store, and the feed store. I think Jack’s Mom’s reaction was understandable and excusable.

The next morning Jack and his mom wake up to a large bean stalk that reaches above the clouds, and Jack decides to see where it goes. He doesn’t have anything better to do since he got rid of his cow, so up he climbs. When he gets to the top, he discovers a giant’s castle, befriends the giant’s wife, and ends up discovering that the giant has a golden harp and a goose that lays golden eggs. Jack hatches a plan to steal the harp and the goose, which apparently used to belong to his father in the first place. This is where the complexity of the rancher psyche come in. There is a goose that lays golden eggs and a golden harp, both obvious answers to the no money problem. However, a rancher would rather use the golden eggs to fund his cattle business (a nest egg if you will) than to start raising geese that lay golden eggs which is probably a more lucrative business move than raising cattle for beef. Either way the goose used to belong to his father and he is therefore obligated to win it back. So, when the giant is asleep, Jack steals the goose and the harp and heads for the bean stalk.

In a plot twist the harp can actually talk and calls out to the giant that it is being stolen (I would have just dropped it), and the giant starts to chase Jack down the beanstalk. When Jack gets close enough to the ground, he starts yelling to his mom to bring the ax so that he can chop down the beanstalk. This can open the door of the common rancher situation of long-distance yelling that turns into a short distance argument because nobody can hear each other or understand why the other person is not doing what instructions are being yelled. But this is a fairytale, dear reader, and Jack’s mother knew exactly what to grab. They chopped down the bean stalk, which killed the giant, and had enough money to the end of their days. Which they of course used to buy cows and horses and build a ranch style home.

Sincerely and analytically yours,

The Rancher’s Daughter